"you lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier..."

hahaha
my lil cousins kept singing that song tonight
and showing me their made up interpretive dance for the lyrics

we kept adding on to improve it
to actually stop, drop, and rolling on the bed
after lifting ours or each other's feet up (or me lifting theirs) for the first part

but our fave is probably still the last line
when we get to act out "crazier, craazier~!"

hmmm...besides that
i'm not even sure where to start haha


today was amazing < 3
it was one of my best November 27th's yet =]


borders in the super early morning
last minute things with the kids
bonding with my aunt over car rides
pancakes and smoothies
and successful balloon cookies
shy lil kids
and slapping/roshambo games

so many fave memory slips < 3

"something that starts with an n.."
"nebraska!"
"....and ends with an o."
"NEBRASKO!"

Walking around was really nice
(i need to hold off on overloading this post with smileys and hearts now)
and so are bookstores and warm drinks
and finding the perfect shirt for your brother

and dont even get me started on
omgsh-are-you-serious
amazingly adorable little (and i mean tiny!) french soup and sandwich shops
with round white tables, newspaper clipping walls,
and ridiculously warm atmosphere
and very yummy sandwiches

yeah
those are pretty nice too =] (dangit, there goes another)


"so it's this really small little french soup and sandwich shop i thought you'd really like..."
"....QUIZNOS! omgsh! ray, its uhh..this is...great...?"
"hahaha nooo, no. okay--we're here!"
"SUBWAY!"
"djkglffmdg"


leaves, and leaves, and more leaves
and running into people
who believe =] (okay THAT smiley was necessary tho)

taking pics,
sitting and talking
walking
and walking
and walking

and the epic battlefield
of wind, rain, and..more wind
of a face off against like a zillion other trees
trying to catch
even just
ONE leaf

...which we did!
one huge fuzzy brown ugly one D:
....of victory!!

hmm
i wont forget =]
hearing the echo of a synchronized count down
and far away boom's! and explosions!
and lights!
and sparks!
and looking up
and running
and running

only to make it
JUST
as the it all ENDS < 3 .

we missed it completely.
and that's kind of really, really, funny.

made it back in time =]

for dinner with my aunt's family
or at least my aunt
and had an amazing conversation,
a real heart to heart with her
that really inspired me to have another
(which i did right after)
but this time with my mom

then we blew up air mattresses
to watch a movie in the living room
while drinking hot chocolate (or cider)
while eating popcorn
(monsters vs. aliens)

and before that
getting lovely advice from ming ming
for meeting ray's parents haha

"ming ming what do i do?!?!?"
"hmm..eat politely! ^^"
"...Politely? but..what's Politely ever done to me?
...why do i need to EAT Politely?
..i mean Politely could have a home..a family!"

they're such good sports haha


"dont forget to eat cleanly too, ate hannah!"
"then i'd REALLY be too full for lunch or dinner!"


and the kids were finally back to being kids
and were super hyper
and we all danced, and sang, and joked, and played

had an epic roshambo battle to decide what movie to watch
(all thanks to my aunt)

"so we've got two votes for this movie, and two votes for that"
**slowly raise hand* "i am only here voting for the sake of controversy"
"thanks a lot D:"

"ok, now its andrew's turn to go against ate hannah" (roshambo for the movie)
"To the DEATH! **tackle the kid across the air mattress and roll*"
"Ate Hannah, I think Nanay(mom) meant in roshambo..."
"...Wha? **flopped on top of squirming andrew*"



hmmm
i think i need to qt
must not forget @@
to thank who it came from

what an amazing day =]

sweetly broken

sometimes the right words come,
without us even understanding what they mean.

and the trick is not to get distracted by the cohesive, or dramatic flow from emotions alone
and forget the part where the truth weighs inside your stomach
like your heart falling
down from your chest

crashing heavily
into whats below

to really register
what those words mean

and from that pain
register truth

and have it affect your life
your actions,
each inhale
and exhale

of undeserved breath

God is merciful
God is kind


i think sometimes we'd almost rather that He wasn't
so we could provide our own solutions
and justify our own pain

...rather than letting, or registering
that Jesus' death on the Cross
already has


"it is finished."

...and then we were free.


we're still sinners
we still hurt
each other
and ourselves (sometimes as a response to hurting others)


but register the weight
of that truth
and the magnitude
of that sin

not to be
trapped
and overpowered

but to realize
the earth shaking truth
and liberating wonder
of one act

of overwhelming
all encompassing
perfectly loving
and forgiving
grace

Jesus died on the cross for us.

"it is finished."

...and then we were free.

"...through other people's descriptions of life."

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is.
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I,
Didn't I tell you?

"its the only way i have learned to express myself..."

my day so far...

peanut butter and jelly sandwich
macaroni and cheese
chocolate chip pancakes
soy milk
and soon...green tea

folding sheets
showers
hangers and closets
puffy pink slippers
and stacks
and stacks
of dishes

backstreet boys
taylor swift
fireflies
replay
and hairspray

and i still have 'realize'
stuck in my head. < 3

..i need to start getting some work done.
like now.

"Our faith must be in the One from whom our salvation springs. Jesus Christ wants our absolute, unrestrained devotion to Himself. We can never experience Jesus Christ, or selfishly bind Him in the confines of our own hearts. Our faith must be built on strong determined confidence in Him.

It is because of our trusting experience that we see the steadfast impatience of the Holy Spirit against unbelief. All of our fears are sinful, and we create our own fears by refusing to nourish ourselves in our faith. How can anyone who is identified with Jesus Christ suffer from doubt or fear!

Our lives should be an absolute hymn of praise
resulting from perfect, irrepressible, triumphant belief."

-My Utmost for His Highest

"He is jealous for me..."

"Lord, I'm amazed by You.
Lord, I'm amazed by You.

Lord, I'm amazed by You

and how You love me."

"im really excited to keep growing with you..
im really excited to keep growing
and im really excited i get to with you. "

i dont know
how to explain
just how much
i really, really
mean that

..so thank you < 3 .

and more importantly,
thank You.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

1 Corinthians 1:25

the sounds of hearts

breaking

at the same beat.

cavanaugh park

...
i need to hear
if im doing the right thing.


i need to hear
that im not just being dumb

or naive

or reckless..

i need to hear

that im capable
of following through

with the promises

...i probably
wasnt meant to make
to begin with

i need you
to believe
in the things
my heart insists
MUST..be..important..

...
i need sleep

and a chance
to slow down
and rest

i want to be
in Your presence, Lord

i want to
seek
Your words

and Your warmth

..i don't
understand
anything...

...but You do

i need to
to believe

and to
set right
what im
believing
in

thank you, Lord..
please remain
the First

in my heart
my mind
my purpose

be the First
that counts < 3

thank you
for the people
You've put
in my life, Lord

thank you
for You

bubbly

"I am full of earth
You are heaven's worth
I am stained with dirt, prone to depravity
You are everything that is bright and clean
The antonym of me
You are divinity
But a certain sign of grace is this

From the broken earth flowers come up
Pushing through the dirt

You are holy, holy, holy
All heaven cries "Holy, holy God"
You are holy, holy, holy
I want to be holy like You are

...

ut the harder I try the more clearly can I feel
The depth of our fall and the weight of it all
And so this might could be the most impossible thing
Your grandness in me making me clean."

today was a good day. =]

people make me happy.
being around them, like, all day
makes me happy
being not stressed
and guilt-free
is amazing

to name a few more
amazing things:

successful costumes
stapling sleeves
fishnet stockings
cornmazes
where's waldo
getting lost
ponies that DONT poo D:

sharing meatballs/chicken wraps
pun-filled car rides
werewolves and poor sports
genies and hair glitter

old tea house
right decisions
boba
and fei chen

helping
group efforts
costumes
that work
and costumes that are
super
easy

too sugary sugar cookies
chocolate chip pumpkin muffins
too green green tea
suspenders
and salt
chriss--ashley
not being the waeakest link
but being the faceless angry house

winning slapping games
week-long extended games of ultimate ninja
even losing slapping games
but teaching them to others

tupperwear donations
umbrella pennies
and coming home
before its AM

street lamp posts
and sharing giant coats
the moon
disguised as stars
being very, very warm


and wishing there was a way to
make the world a better place
with no tummy aches, or pains
and where restrictions on naps

didnt ever have to exist

..but for some reason
that verbalized itself as
'eating dirt builds immunity'

..and im gonna hafta be okay with that.
< 3