saved

a zillion years later, i'm reminded
that unlike me who is acutely aware
of how limited my promises are
how shaky my knees get
how short my words will fall
and how many times
ill fall
along with them

unlike me
whose voice will crack
under a well-polished, unphased
smile

unlike me
who indignantly calls out foul play
and villanizes
with pointed words
and pointed fingers--
only to turn around
secretly relieved
not to yet be discovered
for the villain i am
myself

unlike me who has learned to bluff

His words are truth
His love is truth

He has no need
to bluff--
He's unable to

because He means
every word

and His words
have the power
of the only truth
that can heal

a promise that can't--and wont be broken

an "i love you"
that lasts through eternity

this is what it means
to be saved

your colorless smile

the same song keeps hovering ominously above me
and i keep telling myself its a coincidence
but as i say that, a zillion other voices
answer back

that there are
no
such
things

but i want to believe
even if i know, from the start

...that im just bluffing.

5:38

sometimes it feels like this

and i know i do 5:45
more times than i can count

out of fear that you'll do 5:48

is 5:57,
really worth it?

id like to believe
that love is worthy
not just of
"so much more"
than "that"

but that its worth so much
that even those can be moments
we embrace
as our own

moments that we see
but still want
to embrace
each other
from

i think it truly
Is Worthy

i think we're given
questions that come
with definite
and loving
answers

they're just not always
the easiest answers
to choose

wednesday

isn't the way it used to be