dear friend,

please tell me who i am

every once in a while

i'm terrified

truth is,

i bruise too easily.

..but i'm still learning.

dear tomorrow,

dear right now,

dear what could have been,

dear what can't be changed,

dear things that have changed,

dear things that can't un-change,

dear things i regret,

dear things that need to heal,

dear things that want to heal,

dear things that aren't sure how to heal,

dear promises,

dear dreams,

dear what if's,

dear fears,

dear memories,

dear laughter,

dear smiles,

dear tears,

dear moments that can't be taken back,

dear moments that nothing could take away,

dear first's,

dear security,

dear insecurity,

dear photos,

dear fort,

dear hannah,

dear ray,

oh my dear,

In times of confusion

In chaos and pain

I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

I'm there through your heart-ache

I'm there in the storm

My love I will keep you by my power alone

I don't care where you've fallen or where you have been

I'll never forsake you

My love never ends

It never ends

Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside

Oh, my dear, ill wait for you

Grace tonight will pull us through

Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, I'll keep you in my arms tonight
I'll keep you in my arms tonight

love,

Him

times

what do i believe in

what is worth fighting for

love well

im the kind of person

who is so afraid

of the unknown

that even as a child

i could never bring myself

to hide under the covers

you'd think this sounds brave

(and i did too)

but oh

it wasn't

i was so afraid

of the unknown

that i would rather

watch whatever monster

emerge from that closet

and devour me piece by piece

like the way lil kids cruelly eat teddy grahams

than to not know

what it was

that threatened to loom

in front of me

id rather know

i want to know

even if keeping my eyes open

is the only, little bit of control

i can hold on to

...but maybe that's the problem

im holding on

too tight

and somewhere

along the line

i started holding on

to the wrong things

it's not..it's not bad

is it? i don't..i don't think so

...i wanted to hold your hand

and there's nothing wrong with that

but it was when

somewhere along the line

i let go

of His

that things

began

their steady

spiral

it feels like

you're floating at first

because you're so

high up

at first

its just a scratch or two

of branch after branch

or rock or ledge

you brush up against

on your plummet downwards

the rocks waiting

to crush whats left of you

at the bottom

scratched up

disoriented

selfish

but afraid

i hold out my hand

and You reach out

to catch it

but i need

to be willing

to hold onto

Yours

even if it means

letting go

of his

...Lord,

i'm scared

what do i believe in

what is worth fighting for

"i'm so tired of defending,

what i've become.."

love well

"...what have i become?"