impact

reverberating

change

rising

engulfing

what as once

constant

familiar

and sure

crashing 

through
a film
of stillness

solid
form
plunging

a reverberating tear
in the security
of surface
level
thought
and action

its not safe here

i cant breathe here

i had felt so
alive

a split second
victory
a midair
proclamation
of fears
conquered

so quickly
too quickly
swallowed
by depth
too
much
for lungs
to
bear

i cant breathe here

no

not "here"

and it makes
perfect
sense
that the me
ive found
here

...doesn't

im holding
my
breath

for 

"my way"

even the bubbles
have passed
abandoned
my self-serving
endeavor

they burst

foggy clouds

of dreams

i once

had

of the person

that i meant

and wanted

to be

bitterly
reminiscing

of a life i had only
actually
imagined
 
days
when life
was  "blissed"

with hours
hours
sculpting away
a perfectly
constructed
iceberg

chipping away
at any hopes
i could have

to ever

be home

merely
by presenting
an entity
that doesnt
need
to be

in fact

it doesnt

need anything

at all

...i cant breathe here


but i wonder
that maybe
i should reach
my arms up
and swim

water gliding
past my wrinkled
fingertips

bubbles
returning
with greetings,
feigned rapport,
cheering me on
and saying hello

and maybe
with Your help
i can crash
once again

this time
through
the glass
surface
of things
kept beneath

and inhale

for the very

first

time

in a very

long

time

a smooth
glass
cobalt,
true colors
into
a sticky
film
of grey

an aftertaste
of mold
like a liquid
layer
of dust
ingrained
into the roof
of your mouth

how long have we been stagnant?

a song i used

to sing

 

i've forgotten all the words.