"i love you" is a promise.

...and i dont want to be the one that breaks that.

it means permanence.

"i love chrissy."
i'll always love her the way i do now, if not just more.
"i love ashley."
her joy makes my own heart skip beats
"i love my family."
they give my heart a place to call home thats filled with love and support,
that no amount of words could ever capture how much im thankful for.
"i love jeanine."
she reminds me what love feels like, or is supposed to.

"i love bear hunting."
because i love my friends,
and the adventures they create for me.
and by adventures, i dont just mean the elaborate ones
but the simple ones from one conversation to another
reminding each other its okay to dream
as we try to live life together,
and be reminded
we're not alone.

"i love priya."
she gave me a place to come home to in davis.
a place to feel safe and cared for, completely as i am.
a place to rest and be whoever i want to be
a place to be myself, with all the mess that includes.
and blessing me enough to allow me to see her messes too

"i love michelle."
..not to remind myself that i do.
but because of who she is,
and how much joy that brings me
to have the chance to laugh with and get to know.

"i love nabi."
because i know she loves me too.
but also.
not just because of that,
but because i know she knows parts of who i am
that a lot of no one else will
and even after the goods, bads, and uglies
but somehow still loves me as sincerely
as i do her
..and i do.
a lot. < 3

"i love yuki."
because that is the truth.
regardless of how she or i think that she or i will feel
when we stop becoming imaginary i know that regardless of it all
or whatever "it all" happens to be
i love her, and that's that.

these are the promises that i can keep.

"i love You, God."
and that is a promise that i want to.
that i want to keep growing, until i do,
not just in words, not just in feelings, not even just in action
but through every move that my heart and body makes
and every breath i inhale and exhale of the life You've blessed me with.
i want to keep growing, God.
so that i can always keep that promise to You.
so that my eyes would be set on You, before anything else.

i want to learn to love
the people around me.
even if i've not yet grown enough
to know how to.

i want to always be
in Love
with You.