the flowers that You gave me

"despair is when the devil tricks
a living person into thinking
their overflowing cup of hope is empty."

...so i was about to write an emo, angsty blog entry
referring to some sort of process of fading dreams
or jaded hope, and fleeting trust--draining even

then when i typed the title of "all the flowers that you gave me"
the history popped up to show me that i had actually written one already

..and i think it may just be
God's way of reminding me
that as drained and tired as i may feel now
and as abandoned or bitter or hurt as i may want to feel now
as i may sulk myself into continuing to feel now

..that God's love for me
is still--still
and always will be,
contrary to my
surviving fears,

relentlessly

overflowing.

i am still
so, very loved.

i know this.
and this should be simple

i think i just needed to be reminded this

that my flowers
are not like the flowers here
that inevitably wilt
no matter how lovely it once blossomed

that my flowers
bloom eternally

His love for me
is perfect
and complete.

...and according to Him
i can--
and i will be, too.
and in a sense--
after the cross...
also, already am.