far beyond my reach

im..overwhelmed
even my own words dont feel very good enough to express how im feeling
its basically a bunch of
gjfdilamfjng;oijdujaklfoj.uhnk
but not even, cuz feeling the intensity of whatever it is i really am feeling to that extent
would be way too much energy
cost too much energy
that i dont really even have

i dont know what im good at
i dont know what im doing right
because so much of what im doing is all wrong

all ive done is been busy
and irresponsible

but despite how busy ive been
i still dont feel like ive done anything productive

i guess that -could- be a lie..cuz i technically did
but the magnitude of the things i HAVE to get done NOW
in comparison to what little i HAVE gotten done
barely even makes that productivity i was able to do count
for anything

well..ive..hmm
[x] had dinner with brian
[x] sleepover with mandy
[x] dinner with justin
[x] lunch with gracie
[x] lunch with dorothy (but wanna hang out with her more)
[x] not movie yet, but hung out with alwin yay
[x] bought all my books
[x] got my readers
[x] finished about 2/3's of the thank you card packets for saa
[x] done a lot of brainstorming/researching/outlining for womens retreat
[x] retreat planning meeting x2
[x] saa meeting
[x] ccf meeting for ucc--let em know i wont be here this weekend
[x] kawings bday stuff
[x] immunization records filed-ish for, just waiting for a call back
[x] saw the advice nurse lady who gave me allergy medicine
[x] work evaluation finally, and in that go the course of everything im gonna be responsible for/in charge of for...well basically the following year of marketing
[x] set up a time to hang out with peter finally
[x] called back marni, but does this even count? cuz we still keep missing each other
[x] set up a hang out with ray too
[x] set up dinner with yvonne
[x] had dinner with mandy
[x] skit finished for announcement/mail gabe music
[x] talked to eric

..and now i have to..

[ ] finish up and finalize/solidify the womens retreat talk
[ ] SOMEHOW finish my support letter, supporter list, addresses, and envelopes all in like..now. to be ready to be given to someone to take to ucc for me on saturday for sunday
[ ] catch up on ALL my readings--well basically do ANY of the readings for classes, yay for being a week behind already
[ ] that includes the summaries. woot.
[ ] need new earphones
[ ] finish saa tatl packets to give to other people to help send
[ ] while im at it request addresses of other alumni from the saa alumni list records
[ ] send THOSE out/get more cards once the order comes in
[ ] movie with alwin =]
[ ] make dinner for peter and roommates on monday
[ ] make palabok with gerald the monday after
[ ] email last quarter's prof's.
[ ] get in contact with marni
[ ] talk to brian
[ ] dinner with eunice
[ ] talk to daniel
[ ] mail yuki's presents soon D:

...eeehh toh!