sand between my toes

there is sand
between my toes
from the sandbox
at babysitting this morning

a mostly empty
chocolate soymilk carton
on my desk
that isn't really mine
(volunteer desk)

and an excel file open
of a daily schedule
that has done nothing
but give me a tangible
representation

of the empty
weeks
ahead.

...makes me wonder how
or why it's felt so busy so far though

until now, i still feel like
im trying to catch up
with all of these things
running past me
in life

in fact,
i have two purses today
and one of them
has my journal, tiny bible, and lime green pen
space for my laptop
and a still untouched gre book
reminding me
with its mere presence
just how. much. fail.

ive been fitting
in my not really busy
but somehow filled
daily
schedule

"What happens when God answers prayer?"

I'm not so sure,
but that's what this book is asking
Oh--uh
and it's not my book either
I found it on this not-mine desk

It's the volunteer desk at my CL shift
I wonder whose it is
I wonder where they're from
and what they're doing
and who they are

God answered a prayer almost instantly this weekend

"We give this day to you, Lord."
...And He took it.

And held it
in its struggling
tear-stained,
tantrum-throwing
5-yr-old,
feet-stamping-
didn't-get-my-way
so-im-gonna-sulk-and-mope-about-it
even-though-i-supposedly-know-better
...form

in His arms

"When God answers a prayer, that doesn't mean case closed. It isn't a curtain being closed on a topic, but a curtain being opened to the rest of your life."

...but i still can't...quite see
what's on the other side.
=/