week 2

on the second sunday.

12--halfway through,
but not even halfway through. the day.

i am.
burnt. out.
already

we all want to be good.
but we're all kind of bad. at it.

ruby, a lady from church, spoke at catalyst today
i asked her for advice on what book to read in the bible
if i was trying to find advice or guidance in 'transition'

and she told me....
(in sum)

the biggest transition we have to make
is the transition from being confident in ourselves
and the material and earthly success
to being confident
in our God
who saves

she said that in luke...
was it luke? i dunno. but something about
how peter and his friends werent able to catch fish
and very easily, Jesus provided for them
and said: cast your nets over this side
and instantly, their nets were overflowing
with tons and tons of fish

and instead of celebrating
he looks at it all, and in shame, cries out
"get away from me, Lord..!"

in conference the speaker interpreted that as Peter
feeling shame in his own inadequacy as a person
and realization that God knew/
was aware of all his failures

but when ruby explained it to me
she said Peter had looked at the abundance of fish
and realized that, YES, my God can
provide anything. everything.
He is more than able to provide
everything we've ever dreamed of
...but he looks at it in all its finally reachable abundance
and goes...
"i dont want it anymore"
because he'd rather have Him

both stories portray a very humbling experience
whether we're put face to face
with shameful extent of our own brokenness
or surrounded with all the riches in the world

God is the only thing that can fully satisfy.
the need, the hunger, we're always wandering around
working hard to and determined to fulfill

note to self:
i need a rest day.
and on that note.
to find out--what it is
that rest really looks like for me

and to finally find
not just a restless distraction
or a creative means of running away
but an actual way to f eel renewed
and rest in His presence