my mother wore rosy glasses

...and she passed them down to me

growing up

we went to church
and prayed to Jesus
till we passed out

my dad was never a poet
and rarely had a sad face
but in his heart

i was the clown
who made my
brother smile

he's a devil dog
running strong
never tired
...until these days
recently

but more than tired
he's...
scared

i am my brother's brother
my sister did her best
to be his mother

taking turns
to lose that sense
of wonder

moving forward,
returning.
moving forward,
returning

misunderstanding
never
fully
understanding

that we live
under the same sun

growing old
we think we have to
stand
alone

will we love no one but ourselves?


will all our efforts
deserve that hell

well, well
said our sun
to the moon
by our stars

how far can they run
as they all
fall apart?

i dont know
i said
im just
your reflection

id rather be
id rather not be
but its so much
easier to be

i wish i could be

Your reflection

and not theirs

i will hope
i will dream

will You light up this night?

will my reflection
be that light?

can my reflection--
can this reflection

fighting with the tides
so many things
waving me
goodnight

will i hope
will i dream

when You light up my night?


i want to wake
to Your sunlight

stop checking if the time's right
checking when the time's right
checking if time
has yet
set me
right

 these precious holes
that fill this road
can they be filled?

these holey ghosts
and broken
handwritten
notes

im shouting out
my name
in this crowd

...id rather
be the one
shouting
Yours
instead

a name
worth shouting

will You hear,
somehow?

will anyone
turn around?

i just want to shout outloud
my ears are ringing
from shouting
silently
from the inside

i just want to shout
outloud

i see my soul, my God, my soul's in Your eyes

eyes in my soul

yes will You see my soul
will you see my soul

and if they heard
would they turn around
will they hope?
wil lthey dream?

can this fragile hope
light up the night
fight impossible tides
that bury me good with their nights

im fighting
im fighting

i want to be
fighting

so goodnight moon,
morning sun,
evening stars,
little ones

i want to learn
to hope

sleep
to dream

find Love
in everything

'cause my mom, my dad, my brothers too

i love for them

please let my song

be for 

You

i want to sing

for You