"explains it, but doesn't justify it..."

im going to try.

ill follow you.
no.
ill follow...You.

..we'll..follow You.

im going to try.

i'll trust you.
or..try my best to.

ill trust..You.
because its the only way
i can trust
ANYONE
or in any way
survive

maybe You know better, right?
maybe You know what You're doing.
maybe i don't have all the answers.
and maybe
that's okay.

"nothing happened."

nothing happened that day.
i psyched myself up for it, wrestled with indecisiveness for a good literal 5 minutes.
Five minutes or so of just standing there trying to decide what to do.
Trying to figure out what my intentions were.

I knew if I walked away,
I would rationalize it as a lesson learned.

But it wouldn't change the fact that--
I didn't do it.

Context: so there's a random guy at the park.
Passed right by em, he was taking pics.

Did not stand out in ANY way.
Just walked right by.

and then for some reason the thought occured to me

...is this how it would feel like
or is this in any way parallel to

walking right by someone..reading a book or something
and not looking up
and for you to see that theyre about to walk right off a cliff

..and instead of taking the two seconds to stop and tell them--hey uhm
there's a cliff watch out

you just...
walk right on
because its too much trouble
or youre on your way somewhere
or cuz you don't know them


..is that a little bit of what sharing is supposed to be?

..just..coming up to people and telling them
hey, uhh
btw, you're about to walk right off a cliff

all you need to do is look up
from whatever world it is that's in that book
or that the world has told you to read
and..see where you're going


is that a little bit of what sharing is supposed to be?


is that a little bit of what it feels like
to know..to believe..to...KNOW
something horrible is gonna happen
if you dont do something to change it

then

changing it for yourself

and not

warning

anyone else?

..i mean, i rationalized it
id talked to people before?
maybe itd be amazing
but
its not supposed to be for the sake of it being amazing
or having an amazing story to tell out of it

or success or anything

just..about being told to do something
...and doing it

right?

and..that's..what i did


just..turned around
like a creeper
and went up to him--it wasnt even in teh path
it was totally out of the way

and made up a question to ask
hoped for a time to bring something up

and...

nothing happened.


and i think...
that was actually really refreshing--and almost a relief? but mroe like yeah
refreshing
that nothing did


cuz we're not supposed to test God, right?
OR to do things to glorify ourselves


i have..
NO awesome story to go with that

and i wasn't super outgoing, or good at what i did

but all i did was

turned around

and did..what i could


and...
...nothing happened.


it's humbling to see that.

but on the other hand know, hope, and pray


that maybe


...something will.


and if it does,

it wont be within my own hands

just like how this encounter wasn't


...but it was

on His instead.



yes, tangent, random, probably irrelevant to life in general.


but it was just..nice.

and i really do like God for it.
Thank God for it.


It was a small...possibly awkward...and obscure reminder.

But it felt good to turn around for no reason,
do what I felt (randomly) called to do,
do totally not amazingly,
and get totally NOTHING (like no results) out of it.

Other than just to know that I was told
and I listened.

I wasn't rewarded.
And I didn't "succeed."

I just...
listened.