like today never happened

i think
i think

...a lot
when maybe

i know

i shouldn't?

...nah.

more like.

its finals week.
and these are when
my thoughts should be
filled with
books
and names
and notes
and pages
and stress

but instead


im just


...

filled

with thoughts.

pushing
against

a shut
mouth

faint sound
of nothing

while i chew
on my almost
chapped lips

silent
exhales
quieter
inhales

words


spilling

out of my

drumming
twiddling
tinkering

fussy

fingertips



im filled
with
thoughts.

has anyone ever noticed?

how the sound of leaves
being blown across the ground
sound like a clatter of far away applause
from a distant
audience

encoring
diligently
as if demanding
to hear more

an empty room looks like
it's waiting, almost hoping
for people to
come back

and Christmas
tastes like peppermint
on steaming
smooth sips of
hot chocolate


everyones
muttering
reciting
mumbling
whispering


i want to

scream

i want to

laugh

i want to


exist





one
more
time



i want to
fall


knowing


there is something
there
to catch me


a pile of leaves

forgotten


they havent
been jumped in
for days.




boots
sneakers
flipflops(?!)
trudging
importantly

through autumn



my time

is not


any


more


important




than yours




...im still typing.


but the truth is


i just want to
hear.

you.

reciting
mumbling
stressing
and muttering




no..not that one



but laughing
explaining
stumbling
and crying
with a smile
on your face
and a far away
stare


because you know
if you keep looking
that
far away
or that
close up
that your nose
almost
touches
the polished
textbook pages


that your thoughts


could disappear

like pencil lead
crushing
into a soft
padded
cushion

of graph
and line
paper


your thoughts could



disappear



and if you look
far enough
away


that we'll look

the same

direction
and away

from meeting

your crying eyes


panic
stress
unsureness
the unknown
joy
excitement
and fear





i want to

stop

and listen

i want
to hear

you.