what makes a bad week?
is it...
a bad haircut?
or a rude hairstylist?
coming to border extra hours at work
just to find that that huge project that's 3 weeks past due--
you'd be working on on your own?
or finding that even after all that hard work
your boss still doesn't look happy with it
what about
going out of your way
to text your coworker to ask
when the meeting is,
since he moved it last min the week before
getting a reply,
thinking everything's fine
then getting a text from him after office hours
later that day--the evening before
what he told you was a postponed meeting
to ask YOU to email the boss
to ask to postpone the meeting to begin with?
like...basically asking you
to take the blame for the boss not getting word
until the EVENING before the MORNING MEETING
the boss thinks you're having
when you thought he MUST have already talked to the boss
if he told me hours and hours before that day
that the meeting would be postponed by a day
maybe it sucks too
little things, i mean
might suck too
like feeling like you're working hard for not good work
like feeling like you're doing all the work for your own "birthday surprise"
so you can please everyone else and make it easier on everyone else
while making it harder on yourself.
like people changing plans last minute
like going online shopping but refusing to let yourself buy anything
like feeling guilty for money you spend even when its just groceries
like feeling guilty too guilty to meet up with your discipler,
cuz you cant shake the feeling
that she's disappointed
..in who you are.
like
getting the lime green flats
you've been waiting for
in the mail
only to find that the flats you ordered half a size smaller
just to be safe--seem to be
half a size bigger
than what fits your feet?
what about finding out the tomato soup lunch
you've been looking forward to all day
is actually expired
or worse,
does it maybe suck
to be adventurous
and get butternut squash soup
INSTEAD
when you're right there face to face
with the tomato and red bell pepper one
you meant to compensate for
then coming to work the next day,
looking forward to lunch once again
to find that that adventurous supposed to be creamy and delicious
ITRUSTINTRADERJOES-butternut-squash-soup
...is actually just gingery, watery--gingery...WATERY...ginger...yellow..
soup?
and finding out
trader joes
good ol'
trader joe
let you down too?
...but what makes a good week?
is it
having a roommate
who supports you,
to support,
to catch up with
watch dramas with
be emo
and be crazy with?
is it having an old friend come back
from grad school
and sharing a good meal
with good conversation
and being let back into their life
as if you never really left?
is it being able to afford
that dinner--
any dinner
a lunch, a breakfast,
and snacks
to begin with
while the rest of the
probably-way-better-people-than-you
world goes hungry?
...is it
sunny days?
blue skies?
people who love you
and want to spend time with you?
people who trust you,
and want to learn from you?
a boyfriend who is patient with you
when you're going on in the same rant
you must have gone on
a bazillion times before
and whose most offensive lines he can come up with
to object to your obviously unreasonable temper and behavior
are the words
"you...youuuu..aanngryy person you. "
but maybe,
hopefully,
desperately
a bad haircut?
or a rude hairstylist?
coming to border extra hours at work
just to find that that huge project that's 3 weeks past due--
you'd be working on on your own?
or finding that even after all that hard work
your boss still doesn't look happy with it
what about
going out of your way
to text your coworker to ask
when the meeting is,
since he moved it last min the week before
getting a reply,
thinking everything's fine
then getting a text from him after office hours
later that day--the evening before
what he told you was a postponed meeting
to ask YOU to email the boss
to ask to postpone the meeting to begin with?
like...basically asking you
to take the blame for the boss not getting word
until the EVENING before the MORNING MEETING
the boss thinks you're having
when you thought he MUST have already talked to the boss
if he told me hours and hours before that day
that the meeting would be postponed by a day
maybe it sucks too
little things, i mean
might suck too
like feeling like you're working hard for not good work
like feeling like you're doing all the work for your own "birthday surprise"
so you can please everyone else and make it easier on everyone else
while making it harder on yourself.
like people changing plans last minute
like going online shopping but refusing to let yourself buy anything
like feeling guilty for money you spend even when its just groceries
like feeling guilty too guilty to meet up with your discipler,
cuz you cant shake the feeling
that she's disappointed
..in who you are.
like
getting the lime green flats
you've been waiting for
in the mail
only to find that the flats you ordered half a size smaller
just to be safe--seem to be
half a size bigger
than what fits your feet?
what about finding out the tomato soup lunch
you've been looking forward to all day
is actually expired
or worse,
does it maybe suck
to be adventurous
and get butternut squash soup
INSTEAD
when you're right there face to face
with the tomato and red bell pepper one
you meant to compensate for
then coming to work the next day,
looking forward to lunch once again
to find that that adventurous supposed to be creamy and delicious
ITRUSTINTRADERJOES-butternut-squash-soup
...is actually just gingery, watery--gingery...WATERY...ginger...yellow..
soup?
and finding out
trader joes
good ol'
trader joe
let you down too?
...but what makes a good week?
is it
having a roommate
who supports you,
to support,
to catch up with
watch dramas with
be emo
and be crazy with?
is it having an old friend come back
from grad school
and sharing a good meal
with good conversation
and being let back into their life
as if you never really left?
is it being able to afford
that dinner--
any dinner
a lunch, a breakfast,
and snacks
to begin with
while the rest of the
probably-way-better-people-than-you
world goes hungry?
...is it
sunny days?
blue skies?
people who love you
and want to spend time with you?
people who trust you,
and want to learn from you?
a boyfriend who is patient with you
when you're going on in the same rant
you must have gone on
a bazillion times before
and whose most offensive lines he can come up with
to object to your obviously unreasonable temper and behavior
are the words
"you...youuuu..aanngryy person you. "
...Lord, maybe it's all just silly.
Maybe at some point we just have too much time to think
and complain, and rant, and be frustrated..
and maybe even writing this post
isn't gonna make me any less bratty
or dissatisfied, or even annoyed,
bratty, and bitter
and complain, and rant, and be frustrated..
and maybe even writing this post
isn't gonna make me any less bratty
or dissatisfied, or even annoyed,
bratty, and bitter
but maybe,
hopefully,
desperately
this post will remind me
that all.those.things.
that all.those.things.
those terrible,
incurable,
nerve wracking,
exasperating,
heartbreaking,
immature
things
incurable,
nerve wracking,
exasperating,
heartbreaking,
immature
things
....are not all that i am.
because somehow
Your presence in my life
must obviously,
undeniably,
and genuinely
be just as --if not more
...present
Your presence in my life
must obviously,
undeniably,
and genuinely
be just as --if not more
...present
...and more than definitely
more important.
more important.
1 comment:
You seem to have a lot of bad luck with hairstylists.
It's okay to have bad days, and to admit them.. I think it gets harder to do so, 'cause we all keep trying to tell ourselves (or other people tell us in their words and actions) that it's proper to be happy 24/7. It's okay.. to be annoyed/frustrated/sad too.
..*ramble*
Have a lovely week <3
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