i don't wanna go through the motions, i don't wanna go one more day

without Your all consuming passion inside of me

i miss india.

i miss..worship.
i miss waking up each day
knowing that every moment im awake
and every effort i take
will be in worship
to serve Him
in anyway i can

teaching kids, gardening, interacting with others
even the meals i eat, the water i overdose on to drink
to respect the health You gave me
by trying to take good care of myself

the conversations i have,
every sincere smile, to every child
no matter how tired we may be
i miss..
spending my days
in worship.

i miss
living life
just for You


..i spent the whole day on this
i've spent
a lot of days on this.

trying to fix things
as if it was in my own power to
trying to rationalize, reason, fix
and regain -some- sense of control

i've dwelled on this all day
...

..Lord, which part of my day
Did I allow..
did I leave
for You?

How many days will I live
not bothering to be spent
in full, sincere,
God-seeking
worship?